Blogs, Blogging, and Blogging Buddies


For the second time in two days, I’ve seen posts about blogging and friends lists, and this has me thinking about both.  Yesterday, I noticed that Yahoo! 360’s page provided a link to an interview with the guy who “does news” here on yahoo, and he talked about communication, getting to know other bloggers, and writing for others (not ourselves) on blogs; then today, I saw that one of the 360 Group comments was about adding a friend who had too much “adult material” on their page–I didn’t read this one because I know just what I would do (add them so fast my keyboard would be smoking!  hehe.  Okay, maybe not.), but it did get me thinking about our rights and responsibilities as bloggers.

Personally, I blog because it’s fun, I enjoy my blog buddies, and I like the social connection as well as the chance to practice my writing skills.  But like many people, I don’t have multiple hours every day to devote to blogging, though sometimes I have been known to take that time.

I’ve also noticed that I’m a bit of a friend Grinch; I’m picky about who I have on my friends list, in part because anyone linking anyone off my page will make a connection between me and that person, so I don’t want to link to Charles Manson or the Olsen Twins (extremes, here, not grouping them).  Another thing about friends lists that seems open to debate is what or how much we “owe” someone on our list.  Personally, I take that pretty seriously–more so than I probably should, and I try to make it around to everyone’s page each time I log on.  Of course this isn’t always possible, so I’ll drop a comment or leave some folks for the next time. 

Reading that 360 Group comment heading, I got the sense that the blogger was concerned about turning down a friend for their friends list, even if that person was clearly not their cup of tea.  So maybe I’m not just a friend Grinch, but a bit of a friend Nazi, too, because I have no problem declining invites on whatever grounds (no page to speak of, insipid entries, foreigners looking for green cards–and telling me that in the invite, no less!, that kind of thing), but also just because of the time constraints, relating back to my wishing to visit the pages of my friends with some regularity and having the time to read and respond to their blogs–these things take time to write, and whatever we write is a part of ourselves, so I try to respect that investment made by each person.

Now I’ve noticed that people handle the many many friends (I keep mine at about 20, so “many many” is over that to my mind) in different ways:  sometimes, they just add people and never visit their pages at all, it’s like a high school popularity contest, seeing who can have the most friends, and in that regard smacks too much of myspace for my own way; sometimes, they add so many people that they can’t possibly read and keep up with everyone so they do daily wave, smile, hug, or sing bys on the small comments section (which is not to discourage this, it may be better than nothing, right? And I’ve been known to do this myself if I’ve not much else to say); sometimes, it just makes sense because of the blog content–those “inspirational” blogs or those “humor” blogs come to mind.  If someone is blogging daily inspiration or jokes, then having an enormous readership is inevitable and, I think, takes the pressure off the blogger to go to each person’s page because of the anonymity of pasting “found” stuff each day; and sometimes, the blogger somehow manages to make everyone on a vast friends list feel noticed and important (this is very rare and wonderful, so I won’t name names).  Maybe it’s just a personal thing, really, how many and what sort of blog friends we have . . . and are.

But I think that those friends plus our own personalitites and interests direct the types of blogs we write and how we write them.  Chatty and informal works for some, structured and lecture-y works for others, and some mix works for still others.  I’ve got people on my home page as “favorites” (but not as friends) whose pages I visit with some regularity (sometimes comment, sometimes not) because they write deep, insightful pieces about politics, religion, the world, or whatever flits into their heads.  For me, blogging is about good friends, good writing, and good time management, and I often wonder what it is for others . . . ? 



12 thoughts on “Blogs, Blogging, and Blogging Buddies

  1. I actually prefer to do more reading than writing, but every now and then I take a spell. I am like you, I don’t want a friend list with all these people that I don’t know or feel anything for. I just check out the ones who have updated but occasionally check everyone’s just to see if I missed something. I do like to check out like your friend list, just to see if they have post something interesting and then I might add them to my favorites list to check back later on.

  2. The only reason I got into this was because I wanted my non-Yahoo friends to have an insight in my life and check out pictures without having to attach them to their mails.
    So, the decision to get into it was driven by pure laziness, let’s put it that way.I admit it. But look what I found! Some amazing people out here, cheering each other, learning so many things by reading through the blogs of so many different personalities, understanding their point of view. It’s a great community out here. I’m sure we all have had some bad experiences (I know I had), but overall I feel a very positive attitude from most of the people I visit. I find it very inspiring for my everyday life.
    I wish I had more time for it, though.
    Same as you, I have many people saved in my favourites.
    And the rason they are not on my friends list is simply because I do not want to put pressure on myself. I am now very happy with the friends I got and I will intend to keep my numbers extremely law, continuing being picky and turning even nice people down, so I will have some time for each one of you. I can’t even understand how can you keep in touch with, let’s say, 50 people. How is that possible? I would be incapable of doing it with work and household on the side. So, hats down to those people who manage it. I truy admire them for thinking on so many levels in the same time.

  3. I have 23 friends right now, I think. I tlak regularuly to about 5 or 6. there are a couple who never read my page and leave acomment, and I never leave comments on theirs. but i like reading their pages. I really dont feel obligated to respond to every “friend” on my list. I also dont expect every friend on my list to respond to every blog i write. that would be a little silly, dont you think. I think of this as a fun thing. I have met some really great people on here, and i cherish their friendship. then, there are those that ask to be my friend, and if they have a blank home page or there is content there taht i really dont care for, I very easily hit NO, not today. I am gettin a little nervous about the number i have right now. to me, it is getting too high, and I will probably be doing some quiet house cleaning. Its easier that way.

  4. Hei Fuzz.

    Great topic n great writing, too.
    I think that I did my first comment on your blog in May sometime about the Most Hated Man on TV plus a few others. I think that you wrote about something in one of the 360 forums where I got your blog to visit.

    I have a large number of contacts in real as in cyber land as well: I take turns going and doing a good read in the most of them, some I go every day more or less and comment and others not so often.

    I would have even more ‘friends’ had I not chucked out the ones who were never coming to read/comment/etc/. Thinking of doing another house clearance shortly. I do give each n everyone a good long chance to show what they are made of so when the Mulligan comes, it comes with a definite chop!! Cannot stomach these kindergarten gestures at the front page on their own if there is no more to the ‘friendship’ – know what I mean?

    Your blog is one of them favourite ones of mine where I check most days ‘whassup’ and leave a comment. I sure missed you when you were off blogging for such a long time, Fuzz Gal. BRILLIANT that you are back.

    NITEY NITE gotta nod off sooonish… =) HuGGI xx Rii

  5. I blog because It is fun and a way to share my thoughts and feelings. I am very careful about my blog friends. I usually have to check out their page. I like to se a picture and some sort of blog. I also like to keep my friends to a minimum. I have found that blogging is one of the best things I have chosen to do in a long time.

  6. Hey there, Scarlett, Fanta, Spartonmom, and Bert: thanks for the great comments; it’s good to hear how everyone feels about this blogging thing we all do, and it’s so interesting to hear all our “takes” on it. Huggs to each of you!!

    And Riihele, you’re one of those people who can (somehow) manage a very large friends list and make everyone feel important and special. At least that’s been my experience with you. I’m SO glad you found my blog and meandered through!! Huggs.

  7. And yeah, Fanta, can you believe it? It was sort of a personal ad and said that his goal was to marry an American and move to the US. I thought that was . . . well, let’s just say that I didn’t accept his invite. Smiles.

  8. OK, where do I start? Why do I blog would probably be a good start. Why does a cat stretch their claws? Ya, I guess I write to keep sharp. I am a modest writer with modest skills, but if I really want to see them go by the wayside, let me not write for a while. sometimes I am motivated, come up with a clever concept and draft several times while other times I just want to get something posted.

    As for what I read, the more personal the better. I like to read about other normal people’s lives. I like to know what they are thinking about routine or maybe not so routine events in time and history. Let me make this clear, I like to read original writing and thoughts. Copied jokes and “canned” material is passed over by me so quickly it makes my head spin. What I actually like to read may be a little too personal for some people. Scarlet and I actually got to know each other on another web site and we became good enough friends that I followed her over here. Yes, that was the beginning of my stalking career!

    As for my “friends”, let me remind you that I am a guy! We apparently don’t have many friends and I don’t send out invitations so cleaning house from time to time has not been a real problem. I have received and accepted a few invitations I really don’t understand, but thus far, no harm, no foul.

    I will say that Fuzzy’s surprise invitation is the first and only that has really bloomed into a pretty cool exchange of thoughts and information!

    I occasionally flip around 360 to find blogs that interest me. There are few and far between so I guess I don’t stress myself out too much trying to keep up.

  9. I originally began blogging to keep in touch with folk back home (Bert gets special mention here!). Wanted to share a touch of English living with them. I began to meet some very special people whom I have come to think oh so much of! (Special mention here to my Fuzzy, Lisa, Mavis, Linda, V, Trombone Mom, and Boop!) I have come to know them personally and what a pleasure that has been.

    In the beginning, blogging was alot of fun for me, full of debate, interesting facts and so on. Now blogging has lost a lot of its interest for me. Blogs have turned too personal and some too bitchy. I am less and less eager to get on and blog.

    When I am sick of work or have some spare time, I wind of meeting a few new people and either ask or get added to the friends list. When my free time is over, I regret adding people but feel compelled to keep up with them all. I am however, getting better at not posting all the time and not giving a second thought about it.

    I am again about to chop my friends lists. There really is no reason they cannot stay on but for me, its about not feeling so compelled to read their blogs everytime and post. I just don’t have the time. Kind of out of site, out of guilt kind of thing.

  10. Well, as usual, Amber, you sum up my feelings about blogging better than I do!! I agree that some blogs are too personal and/or bitchy, and I have felt some pressure not to write about controversial topics or to say what I really think/feel because it seems that some people prefer not to read it. At the end of the day, I’ve decided that I will blog as I wish, and if someone doesn’t like it or want to read it, then they don’t have to. I guess some of my worst blogs are those that I’ve written to try to make others happy. And that always makes me feel like crap. So I will write what I want about what I want, and not give a fig if someone doesn’t like it or they want something “light” or “fun” when I’ve written something to think about. There’s plenty of room for eveyone on 360, after all.

    Thanks, Amber, and you, too, Gregg, you’ve given me back something I’d sort of given up on, blogging my way. Huggs to you both!!

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