The Lap(top) of Luxury

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Here’s the thing that got me: I needed to contact someone while my computer was out for repairs, and it took me AGES to work out that I could phone her. Geez! When I did remember those telecommunication dark ages of yore, it took me another age to remember how–without internet access–to get directory assistance and to find an area code (remember phone books? Those oversized floppy things with gray and yellow paper and black smirchy ink? I still had one lying around, thankfully). And I finally managed to get the number I needed and make the call. But the whole process made me feel as though I had been thrust back in time and was undergoing serious culture/time travel shock.

So just how much do we depend on our computers? I use mine to check the weather, news, and driving directions. Who uses maps anymore? Those things never were all that useful to me, anyway, unless I already knew where I was, in which case, who really needs a map? And who bothers with network news? I can log onto yahoo, aol, msn, myway, google, or whatever else and get all the latest and best headlines in seconds, look at the stories that interest me and ignore the ones that don’t, and I can see any newscast whenever I want and for as long as I want.

I can entertain myself with a variety of engaging puzzles which I think of as Alzheimer’s prevention; oddly, my insurance company won’t pay for my computer nor my internet access, though. I work puzzles on-line from crossword to jigsaw to suduko. I even check the tv guide on-line—this last probably doesn’t fall under the medically necessary category. Nor would the occasional game of poker or slingo, then, but still . . . entertainment. And being entertained really cannot be underestimated in my estimation. When I want to see a movie, I go on-line to see what’s playing where and when. Or better still, I just log on to a site such as fear.net and watch a movie right then and there on my computer. Shame restaurants couldn’t work out a way to be so conveniently effective on-line, but I do find restaurants, read reviews, get directions, and generally prepare for an evening out on-line.

I shop on-line, and why not with cheap or even free shipping, easy returns, and the absolute convenience of it all? I store photos, recipes, addresses, phone numbers (not that I remember to use these, of course), and just about everything else on my computer. Hell, most of my friends are on-line friends I’ve never met or even spoken to, and most of my romantic relationships of the past ten or so years have begun on-line. The only thing that I can’t do on-line is feed, bathe, and dress myself, but as I don’t actually have to leave the house for anything, that’s hardly a problem.

Given a choice between hanging out on-line and going out to . . . well, just about anywhere to do anything, I invariably choose on-line, and when I do choose the “have a life” option, I keep it brief, no need to get all wrapped up in that business, after all.

OMG, I’ve become that person. Wtf? And lmao, when did I start short-handing everything? When did it all happen? And how? Well, I know the how, it was by inches; the more I learned about and used the internet, the more convenient it got until slowly I just did everything here, even griping now about the affect of living life on-line . . . well, where else? Online.

Having been forced to find other ways to occupy my time, I’ve thought about how much I miss and need and want and crave my computer, and I tried to determine when it took over my entire life. I came to the conclusion that the final nail in my life’s coffin was wireless access; once I could take my laptop anywhere at all, I was done in. I could shop, socialize, or chat with people around the world right there from my bed, I could check the weather and the television simultaneously from the couch, and I could pull up recipes and follow them from my laptop as I cooked. My loss of a real life was inevitable, actually, once I switched over from dial up. Perhaps, then, it’s not really me! Who’s responsible for wireless technology? Let me just give that a quick google . . . . _________________________________________________________

Let me just say that while I wrote this for fun, there is more truth in this than I care to admit, but I will never (please let it be never) read a book on-line. I like books with their pages and their lovely old musty smells and their wonder and the way you can put a post-it in the page on the exact spot to which you want to return and the way you can highlight in them and underline the salient parts and that cute little book way they have of being all readable and book-like . . . oh, sigh. Books. Yes, as long as there are books to read, I will keep one-clicking them from amazon.com.

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20 thoughts on “The Lap(top) of Luxury

  1. OMG, you’re me, or I’m you. That’s uncanny. I use my comp for everything, ti’s like a best friend, and I’d cry without it. Likewise, the friendships and romance that has sprung up from here. But i love my books. I just bought a new one today as my Christmas Present to myself 😀
    I’m so glad you got back online before Christmas. You’ve been missed! 😀

  2. I love this post! I am exactly the same way. I gave up along time ago the notion of what “life” meant. Exactly what does that mean….I do have a life, geek or not, I love it! I consider myself a pioneer of the future and those who don’t use the computer old and behind the times. 🙂

  3. Hei Fuzz Gal.

    GREAT that you are back online!!! I know soo well what you are talking about in this entry… And do prefer really real books to online ones, too. Take care n do keep well. Rii xx HuGGiz

  4. Great piece Fuzz! We all have to break away from our computers from time to time. In my case, I have to experience something to write about! Talk about your mundane subject matter. Regardless, it is great to have you back. You were severely missed!

  5. It also amazes me how social programs do the best they can to make computers available to everyone. The job hunt, social programs, everything is done via computer. It has become such an essential tool that it should (and in many arenas probably is) be a tax deduction. How people can function without a computer is beyond me, hell, I can barely function with just my desktop. I want a laptop….whahhh….

    I hate to cry…sorry!

  6. lmao, Tally, I’m you or you’re me? How funny. And how creepily likely to be true. Dun dunnn da!! teehee. Okay, yeppers, gotta say that it’s good to be back; definitely missed you, too. What book did you buy you for Christmas, btw? Huggs.

    Wooohoo, Pris, gotta say this is the only sort of pioneering I’m interested in, the sort I can do on my couch and not in a rickety old covered wagon and getting stuck in mountain passes and having to eat my dead fellow travellers. How much would that not be holiday fun? Poor Donner party. Reminds me of one of Santa’s reigndeer, though, so guess that’s the hoiday link I was searching for! Okay, my brain has been very constrained of late, not being able to communicate in my preferred mode and all. But I agree with the “have a life” thing; I do have a life, and it’s a good one, at that! Huggs.

    Really real books are the best, Rii. Huggs to you!!

  7. Hey Gregg, missed you, too, but I sure didn’t miss the jumpy comment box that makes me go all dizzy, thus the new entry here. See, that’s where we differ, I get all my blog ideas from . . . drum roll not really needed . . . the internet (or tv), so that minimizes my need for actual experiences. Teehee. Gosh, I sure hope not. I love the cyber life, but I want to be a real girl, too (just like that little puppet boy Pinnochio, or however you spell it). Huggs, Gregg, Happy Christmas to you and your boys!!

    Ricco Suave, good to hear from you, and I like the lifestyle choice option; we should have that printed up and added to all those forms, so we can check that box. Huggs.

  8. Hi, my name is Mavis and I’m a computerholic! Room, “Hi, Mavis.” So let me say that it is good to be here and with people who understand and all that, but I must admit to you all….I don’t want to quit! I see no need to quit. And don’t bother with a sponsor cause I’ll have him or her hooked too. Once a person learns how to google….it’s over! >sigh<

  9. Very nice blog, so down to earth. It just reminded me of one of my weaknesses which is not being able to fold roadmaps back into their original state. I also enjoy the smell of real books, and they are easier on the eyes too, an added bonus. Take care, Fuzzy.

  10. hellll–ooooo Mavis (said in my best 12 step echo voice) LMAO, you are the funniest!! Huggs.

    Thanks, Fanta, what a lovely thing to say!! I know what you mean about refolding roadmaps, too. Now that’s funny.

  11. I do worry from time to time about how much of my life is spent online…..then I get sidetracked by an interesting blog and I forget!! Your blog (excellently written) was disturbing inasmuch as that if I’d have sat down to write about myself and how my life is affected by the internet, this would have been the result (or fairly close). The only part that isn’t me yet, is I haven’t discovered the joys of wireless connection yet. Not too much of a problem, my apartment is so small I can reach my computer from almost any point in it LOL.
    Is it sad that I have many more friends online than in the real world? Is it strange that in the past ten years ALL of my relationships have started online. Or is it just a sign of the times? It’s just as well I have a job that involves daily interaction with lots of folks, otherwise I would probably lose any remaining social skills!!! LOL

  12. Hey Mitch and thanks for the compliment about my writing. I don’t think it’s at all sad or strange that you’ve more friends online than in the real world; hell, we’re all here, where would you find us out in the world. LOL. Actually, I know what you mean about worrying and wondering these things, but from the reactions so far, it seems we’re in fine company!

  13. True, computers are a lovely source of information, but may they never replace a real book you can hold in your hands! I am content to buy books off of the computer, but not read them on the computer. It is not the same, and computers give me a headache after a while anyway. Being an avid reader, this is not a good thing! 😀

  14. I have my lappy now, and when I cant log on, like in a hotel room, i go a little crazy for a minute, till i figure it out. Now, when i can learn toput a link in, and remember it from day to day, and how to post multiple pics to one post, and remember from day to day, I will be happy. someday, i too will be totally dependant on my lappy, and I cant wait.

  15. The Good, The Bad, The Ugly… the real world, the difference is that on the computer you can access all in a fraction of a minute. In the real world you can run away and hide. In the real world you can be a second class citizen just based on your looks. On the computer nobody has to know what you look like. The computer may bring the most important social change ever. You can be judged on the content of you character, as expressed by your writings, and not the color, size or beauty of your skin (thankyou Martin).
    Fuz you get me going…..look out.
    However as an old fart full of emotion and desire (?) the computer can not provide me with…how your hair smells when we dance close; the tenderness of your skin when I touch you; the color of your eyes in the moon light; the taste of your lips when we kiss; your strength of emotion when we hug; need I really go on? We still need human contact …YO…

  16. Ceres, I thought you might be like me when it comes to the bookness of books! Smiles.

    lmao, Spartonmom, you’re hooked, huh? Laptops rock, I have to say, and I’m so glad you got yours. WooooHoooo!! Huggs.

    hehe, Heyman, do you really think we’ll ever be able to judge anyone based solely on the content of their character? I think MLK, Jr. was onto something, but I’m not sure I have that much faith in my species. And get going, that’s what I love about this blogland thing we all share. And Yo, right there with you on your last observation! Huggs to you, Heyman.

  17. Hee Hee Hee! LOL! Love it! I can so relate! (Of course!) And, I agree about the books. (In fact, I think I said something similar in a blog or a comment in the past.) Online just isn’t the same. Now, imagine if Lennon and Yoko had laptop computers and wireless when they did their ‘bed in’. 😀

  18. Yay LO, though now I think I’d be more surprised if you didn’t get something I said or relate to it!! 😉 Books ROCK!! And I’d really rather not imagine John and Yoko’s bed-in — never found him at all appealing, especially not naked. I mean physically appealing; love his music, and that of the Beatles.

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