"Live and Let Live": A Cop-Out Philosophy?

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Okay, I like to think I have a “live and let live” sort of philosophy. I’m not enamored of telling people what to do and how to live their lives, and I’m not one to advocate the government coming in and making decisions for us as individual citizens. For example, I’ve been watching with interest this law to ban smoking in your own car if there are children under 18 in the car with you–window down or up, doesn’t matter. I see why the law is in place, presumably to protect the children from second hand smoke, and I see why some people find this a bit too intrusive, too much micro-management, too Big Government. Whatever, I shrug, doesn’t really affect me. See how ambivalent I am? Isn’t that nice? And so very “live and let live,” no?

I was just reading this story, however, that makes me wonder. Apparently, a 67 year old woman lied and said she was 55, so she could have infertility treatments; she has since given birth to twins, thus earning her the title of world’s oldest first time mother. So far, so good. Whatever, I shrug, her life. But then, as I’m reading the story, I become more and more uneasy. It turns out that this woman has lived her whole life with her mother tucked away somewhere in Spain; anyway, her mother died (sadly, and I’m sure at an advanced age) in 2005, leaving her all alone for the first time in her life. Soon after, our about to be brand new world’s oldest first time mother decides that it’s time for her to have children and off she goes to LA to begin her treatments.

Huh?

My concern is for the children she’s brought into this world because she seems to have done so not out of a desire to have children (and to fulfill her role as a woman and express her maternal love, while raising them to fine upstanding contributing members of society, blah blah blah) but out of a desire not to be alone. Or perhaps it’s a knee jerk reaction founded in grief? I don’t know. It is worrying.

But then, that little voice in my head (um, my conscience, I mean, I’ve not got those other voices . . . yet. As I was saying, then, that little voice in my head) says, but what about the real problems in the world? What about the children who are dying of starvation, AIDS, and genocide in Africa? What about the children who are dying of starvation and AIDS right here at home? For that matter, what about the war in Iraq? Or the poverty that plagues people in every country in the world, including my own? What about all the people who still die from diseases they needn’t simply because they don’t have medicines (read: money)? And this lonely, perhaps slightly unstable geriatric new mom becomes unimportant, and I shrug in the face of the vastness of all of our difficulties, and think, “live and let live.” That’s so much easier, isn’t it, than actually dealing with the enormity of the problems that face us?

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20 thoughts on “"Live and Let Live": A Cop-Out Philosophy?

  1. Fuzzy, great blog, only you can express it well. I have heard about this sick story, she lied and the people who did this say they didn’t know her age. Don’t they see ID and passport in her case, I think she gave large sums of money to do this, sick woman. And also she did a shopping of the women and men she got the eggs and sperm from like a house shopping. I am glad the child survived, but we don’t know the long term effect on this child, if everyone does this randomly it will be a big problem. But as you say we have a large fish to fry, we have so many large problems than this, we have to worry about them rather than on this woman. The newspapers however will spend more time on this than the real issues. There are other weird stories I read but I don’t want to spoil the mood of you guys, the world is getting weirder and weirder. Cool blog, can you tell the guys in the pic, to dress properly 🙂

  2. We have way to many laws! You can’t walk without stepping on one. You know, one lesson I learned in life is to be weary of well intended people who want to protect you. They are dangerous because they can get away with a lot more than anyone else.

  3. i know what you mean. part of me thinks i should be outraged over this, because it’s incredibly selfish at her age to bring a life into this world when she probably won’t be around to see them grow up. but then, as you say, there are so many larger problems in the world to get outraged about, why focus on this woman?

  4. Maybe she wasn’t worried about being alone either…obviously someone hit the papers with her age? I am sure it was a major ego boost to also be the oldest mother and have her 15 minutes of fame. Some people thrive on attention and it doesn’t matter whether it is positive or negative. I suspect there is a lot more to this story and fall with Chris on the ID thing. I mean, surely she looked older too…How does a 67 year old woman pass for birthing material? Interesting now that I think of it….wonder what she looks like. Great post Warm Fuzzy!

  5. Hei Fuzz.

    Well some topic this one, so tis! I checked further on the woman before commenting and she, to me, looks remarkably fresh for having just about given birth on the pic. However, she seems to have absolutely no-clue whatsoever what it means to be a parent nor what is parenting at all. ZIPPO. Quoting the Daily Mail UK: ‘She said: “I’m sure I’ll be able to cope. When they begin toddling I’ll get one of those playpens and put them in there.” Poor kids, is all I say.

    It has been researched, and by my own experience also, it takes enormous amounts of energy and stamina to be a mother for a toddler, nevermind two… A highly-trained pro athelete was trying to keep up with a two-year-old but had to give up in just a couple of hours, because he could not do it!

    Well, tis to be seen how the story unfolds. Great topic. Rii xx HuGGiz.

  6. Interesting post Fuzzy. So are there too many laws in out land? Not too many laws, too many stupid laws. And there is concern for the children. But then, where is the concern for ALL the children. Celebrities go overseas to adopt, and there is an abundance of homeless children in the State just waiting for the chance to love and be loved. People send money all over the world to fight poverty and homelessness, but walk blindly past the same situation right in their hometown! Because this woman got her 15 minutes of fame, her children will probably be taken care of, I would hope. And if you dwell on the trauma and lack of justice in the world you tend, at least I tend, to just shrug and say, “Oh well, what can I do”. It’s a big pond, and I’m a small fish. Hence, the abundance of “Live and let live”.

  7. I guess different people see things different ways. In the few articles I’ve read, I don’t get the sense of her wanting to have a child to avoid being alone so much as her wanting to finally be able to live her own life – apparently she had lived with her mother her entire existance and I imagine she’d looked after her for at least the last few years. Granted it does seem to be a rather selfish thing to do….since she could well not live to see her children reach adulthood – but if she’s able to provide for them financially – I don’t see it as any worse than when very old men like Larry King and Tony Randall decide to start families late in life.
    I don’t agree that just because something can be done it should be done…..but like you Fuzz and most of those who have commented, I am pretty much a live and let live on this matter. Although if the US clinic didn’t check the woman’s age I think perhaps there should be some sort of sanction against their license.

  8. I guess it’s human nature……I think people tend to concentrate on individual stories, rather than the ‘big’ stuff. They always feel that the small stuff is something they have a handle on, whereas the ‘big’ stuff is out of our control, so can’t/won’t do anything about it. We all say the ‘big’ stuff is what is important, what we should be concentrating on, but then we do nothing about them (and I include myself in that statement). Cake and eat it time?

  9. I think if I wanted todo somthing, I wouldnt want the governmentr making the decision whether I can or not. That decision would of cource start with wethter what I wanted was legal and or moral. Smoking in the car, I dont have a problem with stopping that.In some places, the cities are trying to stop smoking in their own houses. This is too much. As far as the lady with the babies, I personally think that is morally wrong. She is no longer of the age to have children on her own, and she wont be able to run after babies as they get older. She will be too old to sit at their sports events, possilbly wont be ab le to even go to open house and meet their teachers. By the time they are young teans, ands of marrying age, she will be very old. she may even pass away before the kids grow to be young adults. I thiink this was a selfish act on this ladies part. there is a reason there is an age limit on these procedures.

  10. Thanks, Chris, you are always so wonderful to me, and I can’t tell you how very much it means to hear you say such lovely things!! :)) And yes, the world is getting weirder and weirder, I wonder what’s up with that? Huggs xx

    Couldn’t agree more, Wyatt (though of course some such laws turned out okay, like the seatbelt one, but I do see your point!). Huggs

    LOL Azad! I know, isn’t it great that he is?? 🙂 Thanks for the nice compliment, too. Huggs

    Kerry, that’s sort of my point, is that we get torn between the smaller things and the enormous ones and end up stranded there. It’s me, too, I think we all do it. :))

    LOL thanks Pris!! If my experience is anything to go by, once you hit a certain age, it’s impossible to tell how old someone is: a 17 year old looks 29 to me, and when I was in my early 20’s everyone over 45 looked the same age! LOL

    Oooh, Rii, where’d you find the pic of the woman? I looked at a couple sites, but I couldn’t find one of her, just of other older or oldish women who did the same or a similar thing. Oh boy, lock him in his playpen? Fab. He’ll turn out normal. Sigh. Thanks for the GREAT comments, diggy Rii!! Huggs xx

    Oh wise and constant Michael; I love what you have to say. I so agree with your point about feeling insignificant and unable to do anything at all. That’s sort of where I was going with this post, too, but I didn’t pull it together (just posted the comic that Chris thinks is obscene (LOL)). AND I do wish that people would be as willing to help here at home as they are overseas. I was watching where Congress has just allotted I don’t know how many billions to Africa for AIDS/HIV and hunger (this is above and beyond the money going to Darfur, which I support), and we have plenty of HIV/AIDS and starving people right here in our country. Ooooh, it’s so frustrating!! And then to hear the world come down on us so hard . . . makes me so mad. But I get off on a tangent. And up on a soapbox. Thanks for your fab comments, Michael. Huggs!!

    Hiya Em, and I definitely see your point about the same should go for the old dodderers who father kids; guess I was buying into that whole “maternal” line of thinking that it’s somehow worse for the mother to be older/absent/unable/etc. And that’s just not fair–though I do secretly still think that it’s slightly different for women, above and beyond the health risks–the men you’ve mentioned have children WITH women, usually ones several (er MANY) decades their junior, so even though the dad will kick the bucket soon, there will be a mother around, not to mention mountains of cash for childcare, etc. But not so with her; it’s just her, and she’s retired from her job as a salesclerk (wonder if she’s on a fixed income? Must be. A pentioner, at that, raising a kid? Wow, new level of weirdness). I don’t know. It’s a tough call all round. I’m happy with live and let live there. I just feel bad that she’s already planning playpen restrictions. 😦 Sad. Thanks for your great comments, Em!! Huggs.

    Too true, Mitch; I think that’s what a lot of us, if not all of us do. We look around at the enormity of it all, see that we can do so little to nothing, and then move on. I do it, too, as I’ve said in the post. Thanks for your comments! Huggs.

    Hey Claudia, I agree, and some more reasons came up in my response to Em, though I do see her point, too. Personally, I wouldn’t WANT to be that old and having a tiny baby; I’d be terrified that they’d be scarred for life when I died. Or when their friends met me! LOL Huggs TME

  11. Oops, just reading over this, I realized I was stingy with the huggs! Shame on me. Huggs to you, Kerry!! Huggs to you, Pris!! It’s late; I’m tired. Forgive my oversight. :))

  12. Unfortunately, we vote these people into power, we tell them we want a better life, they are just doing what we told them. Laws suck, but ultimately, we asked for it!

    As for the old bird who had IVF, I would like to wish her well as she embarks on finding a (dumb) man to marry and look after her kids for her when she is too old and infirm, cheeky biatch!!!!

    I’m off to find me birch twigs and clam meself down, see ya later

  13. Hi Fuzz,
    What about the rest of the world problems, indeed… This woman decided to procreate artificially for all the wrong reasons and because she slipped through the cracks, as Chris implied who knows what medical issues the children would have to deal with. Her playpen comment irritated me as it smacks of the same stupidity and mindset of those who purchase lovely designer puppies who quickly grows into dogs that no one wants because the novelty has worn off.

    GAHHH … I need my morning coffee AND my old coffeemaker back… @@ hugs from Grumpy Grumbly Gloria xo xo

  14. Monty, you are too funny!! When we vote people into power, we do it that they’ll represent us, not speak and act FOR us; there’s a bit of a difference, and it’s that difference that ensures we have a frequent turn over . . . don’t do what we want, out you go. Video that birch twig thing, will ya? 😉 Huggs :))

    I love uncaf Gloria!! You’re right about this. I hate when people think of babies and pets as “things”; it’s so wrong on so many levels. And I know people have babies for all the wrong reasons all the time (to keep a man, to save a marriage, to always be loved, and on), but this woman . . . yikes! I’m sad about your coffeemaker, too, I feel your pain. They really don’t make them anymore? I’m only half being a smartass when I ask . . . Did you look on eBay? 🙂 Huggs and love to you Gorgeous while Grumpy Gloria!

  15. Fuzzy..you have such a great point. There are so many issues in this world and while we can take a stand on each and every one of them, we are just one person. We could interrupt our lives, go on a crusade, stress out and die while trying to solve any one of these problems. In the long run, we have to take care of our little corner of the world and assume that everyone else will take care of theirs. That statement has a few problems however and then we could be accused of being hypocritical.
    Can we not educate ourselves to what is out there and then given the slight chance for one person to make a difference, do our part. Ya, that would be me.

    Have a great day!

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