Jay Leno's Headlines: Stuff and Randomness

. I’ve been feeling rather giddy lately, can’t really explain it, but it’s such a good happy feeling that I decided not to blog about any of the serious topics that came to mind and instead to take a look at some more of Leno’s Headlines. Rather than having a theme such as education or politics as I have in the past, this is sort of a grab bag of rollicking fun. Now, it just wouldn’t be a headline blog without some mention of politics, right? So let’s take a moment to remember the 2000 election: hanging chads, confusing ballots, “stolen” elections, miscounts, and on and on . . . . Identifying as “from” Florida, I was rather embarrassed by all the hoopla, so it would be nice to see Florida step up in national politics: But, um . . . maybe not anytime soon . . . The paparazzi and politics . . . good bedfellows? Or bad website (upherpoliticianwiferedskirt.com)? But at least Democrats are good winners, right? Okay, so that was my little peek at politics. Now I’m off to look at some pictures that just don’t quite go with the text . . . Woof! What the . . . ? Only twenty bucks a month and I can look like that, too? Sign me up! I know most people manage this look for free, but hey . . . . Let’s take a look at crime and punishment . . . A $10K reward? Okay, he’s a baddy; dunno what he did, but it couldn’t have been good. But a $3.50 reward? Huh? What did he do to warrant such a pathetic reward? Is he the infamous jaywalker of Clark Street? Perhaps he drove too slowly in the passing lane . . . no, wait, that’s an offense punishable by death. Or it should be. Okay, one more politician . . . this one is putting his foot in his mouth (big surprise): Okay, maybe not his foot. Ugh. At some point the police really need to tell people to stop calling them; someone conned this woman out of her bag of dog feces, so she reports it to the police . . . who then go digging around looking for the “stolen goods.” Sigh. Yep, that’s our tax dollars at work. Or maybe it wasn’t . . . let’s ask this guy: Thunk. A business opportunity for the location, location, location-minded entrepreneur? The pot lot may provide a nice income for the buyer, certainly a good view. And for the . . . less cerebrally active: Why save money SOON when you can spend more NOW? We’ve all seen and taken part in polls of some kind, but just what do you do with something like this? Why would anyone even bother “answering”? Bizarre. I’m guessing this is an ad at a retirement home, but come on! Because someone ages doesn’t mean their temporal concept goes out the window . . . or does it? Is a “night” suddenly an hour and a half? Is that why the years are flying by these days, and soon, an hour will be a night, another hour a day . . . Yikes! I never claimed to be good at math, but I’m thinking this isn’t such a great paying job: Buying the newspaper to bring in the ad probably cost a day and a half’s pay . . . and if you’re a senior, that’s a whole night thrown away, with not even a saucy tango to make it worthwhile. _________________________________________________________ Okay, the first ad is in terrible taste. But it IS kind of funny. In a dark, sick way.