As you all know, I’m interested in the declining state of education in this country, and most of these Leno’s Headlines reflect the horrors that are happening to and within our education system; now I’m not saying that we never had typos, illogical advertising, or downright silliness, I’m just saying, we better enjoy it now, while we can still spot the problem in these samples. A few more generations, and we may not see anything wrong at all. I mean if you see this stuff everywhere, hear it constantly, doesn’t it at some point look and sound “right”? Sigh.
Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know about cars. I don’t care about cars. Cars do not interest me as long as they do what they’re supposed to do, which is run. But even I know that the more miles a car has, the worse condition it’s likely to be in. Or not? Look at this beauty”
All those miles! And they don’t seem to be charging more for them. What a bargain!
Now this next one just tickled me silly; I couldn’t stop laughing. Which means it’s probably not funny to anyone else . . .
I can’t say that I do yoga at all, but if I did, I’m almost certain that my bathroom (and right next to the toilet!) is the very last place I’d choose. No matter how fresh and fabulous it smells.
Not having kids, it took me a few seconds of looking at this next one to determine the funny:
But I’m pretty sure that good parenting doesn’t involve a kegger for the kiddies. Then again, they do look rather happy, huh? Maybe brewery tours are the next big thing, better than Disney World.
Okay, sometimes things get screwed up because you misplace your modifying word or phrase, right? And it’s pretty easy to see what went a awry here:
“I’m sorry, ma’am, but marshmallows are out of season; would you prefer some whipped cream? It’s just ripened this week.”
And we know what this is supposed to say, as well, but . . .
. . . well, it doesn’t say what it’s supposed to, does it?
This next one . . . well, take a look, see for yourselves:
You only get 15% off if you’re Spanish speaking? I don’t even speak Spanish, and I can tell that’s a rip off, so I’m assuming that anyone not speaking English can see it, too, no? I mean there IS a giant red 25% just above the teensy Spanish language discount . . . oooooh! Unless you get an EXTRA 15% for speaking Spanish? I really need to learn that language! And isn’t this sort of thing illegal?
Where are the police when you need them? Oh, yeah, chasing down runaway turtles:
And setting dastardly speed traps . . .
for the Amish? I mean who’s he going to outrun on that horse?
Okay, this next one is a pet peeve of mine. Repeat after me: Benjamin Franklin was never . . . never ever . . . ever president of the United States of America.
And while we’re on the subject of historical figures,
No, Jennifer, Martin Luther King, Jr. did not free the slaves. Nor did Benjamin Franklin for that matter, and at 17, you should really really know who it was who did free them. If you’re an American, that is, or have been in the American school system. (If you’re not American, just substitute some commonly known, hugely significant historical figure here. I do understand that countries don’t teach other countries’ histories, but that’s a whole other topic.)
I know that we’re pretty soft on crime, and that we’re sympathetic to the put upon and beleaguered convicts who are forced to pay for their crimes. But have we really gotten to this point already?:
Your Honor, I’m pleading “Not that guilty” today. K? You good with that? Grrrr.
But it’s the touchy feely syndrome isn’t it? And it strikes again:
Leno thinks it’s funny that it says “stop taking if you think,” and yes, that’s pretty amusing, but even more amusing to my cynical pea brain is the “Important to try not to skip doses” . . . you don’t have to actually succeed in not skipping them, just try really really hard. K? You good with that? Grrrrr.
One thing I love about advertising is the reliance on the trite, the tried and true, and what better sentiment than “Wish You Were Here”
. . . for a hospital?
Okay, I’ve already sent off my deposit for this next one:
Look at those savings for having both? WooHoo! I knew there was a reason I waited this late in life to marry.
The first pic, I think, speaks for itself (as do all of these really, I just enjoy being a wise ass).