Footloose and Cancerfree

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You know that scene in Jaws when the shark is strung up, slit down the gut, and its abdominal contents spill out on the dock? You know the one, when the license plate and whatall come crashing out? Well, that’s pretty much what I’ve been experiencing these past couple weeks. Okay, maybe not the strung up part. Or the license plate part. Well, truth be told, I wasn’t caught by fishermen, either. Just a particularly sadistic surgeon bent on creating her very own version of Frankenstein’s monster. See? The drama just spews out, doesn’t it? It’s not really her fault I’m a stitched together freak, there were other scars before she slit me down the gut and stitched n’ stapled me back together.

The upside of all this is that the worrisome thingies weren’t malignant, and I won’t be dropping dead in the next little while (well, I could, but not of some metastasized cancer that’s eaten up all my insides). Very relief making, that knowledge was. Very public nod to Mitch in that I need to revise my earlier death talk contribution; I still think that people are far more willing to talk about death than you do, BUT they don’t seem willing or able to do so in the concrete (someone I love may be dying in the next few months to five years), only in the abstract (everyone dies someday, far off in the future). There was some stress and fear. But all that went away when the mad doctor sliced me open and spilled my contents into the cancer-detector. Yay!

So I’ve been doing all I’m supposed to do and was doing fine . . . until I ran out of percocet. Can we just pause here and hail the fabulous narcotic? [pause] [hail] If you ever have the chance, you really should try these pain pills, can’t recommend them highly enough. Not that I want you to have the chance; quite the contrary. Prior to the disastrous end of my percocet supply, I was doing fine, sleepy, but fine. I was doing my daily checks of the stapled train track running down my once smooth tummy (making sure there was no maggot infestation or perhaps some gangrene setting in). Then the she-devil doctor took out the staples (okay, some office lackey did it, maybe the janitor), denied me a percocet refill, and sent me shuffling on my way. Well, actually, she spritzed me with hydrogen peroxide first. Lovely.

Then I just tried to stay as still as possible waiting for my body to leap into healing action and fix the mess she made of my (did I mention it used to be smooth?) tummy. Slow going. Like watching paint dry. Sigh. This whole thing pretty much sucks. It’s taking longer than I thought, it’s not painless, and it’s ugly. Waaahhhh!! Oh, and did I mention the episode of X-files that was on last night? The one about the killer flies that bore into open wounds? Shudder.

I’m doing super well now (rolls eyes at feeble attempt at stoicism) and will be back in top snarky form in no time (yeah, if I don’t get eaten up from the inside by those flies). I’ve been blogging in my head when I’ve not been hysterical about my situation, and I had this whole thing about the darkside of blogging—those horrible immature people who treat this like a giant junior high school. I mean we all know someone who has or someone who knows someone who has faked their own death on here or who has periodic drama queen/king freak outs (i.e., shuts down their 360 “forevah” . . . um, again. Only to be “begged” back by an adoring—if ever shrinking—throng) or people whose blogs are just one long soap opera of trauma and drama (looks innocently around . . . hey, I’m allowed one trauma and drama blog). Have you noticed that the people who go to weird extremes (supposedly) to avoid drama are the ones who always seem to create and thrive on it? Anyway, while that’s all well and good for some people, with some personalities, it’s not . . . me. Ooops, guess I just blogged it.

Let’s see, what else? How about some helpful tips for people undergoing surgery:

–It’s important to weigh the immediate gratification of ice water against the long, painful shuffle to the bathroom

–Percocet + rum raisin ice cream = happy, fun-foggy good times

–Flowers really are happy making (perfume is joy bringing)

–Reading whilst on narcotics is a pointless waste o’ time

–You use your stomach muscles far more than you realize

–Nurses see far too many sick people (and forget that each patient is an individual human being who doesn’t experience surgery/recovery on a daily basis)

–Those patient-operated pain medication machines are genius

And finally, just some stuff that became meaningful:

–Taking care of yourself is important, even if it seems selfish to someone else; if you wind down, you won’t be any use to anyone anyway

–Tell the people you love that you love them; do this often

It’s not very comfortable for me to be at the computer as yet (I’ve written bits of this at various times over the last couple of days, so if it makes no sense and/or has no continuity, that’s why), so no marathon blogging sessions in my near future, but please know that I miss this mad glad world we share on 360. Thanks
for all the notes and comments and well wishes; you guys are the best. Truly.

And in case it got lost in the above melodramatic rambles, I’m on the mend; (actually) doing very well.

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45 thoughts on “Footloose and Cancerfree

  1. Thanks, Rii, it looked fine from my end; is it fixed now? And SO great to be back, if only for a little bit today.

  2. Yeah I had to highlight it to read it…*gasps* she’s…forgotten how to blog! Oh no!

    Much love to you, you know I’ve been thinking of you and it’s so nice to see you back again even if it is only briefly…keep up the rest and the Buffy-watching and the ice-cream eating.
    Hugggggs to you, TFT, hope to see you back for good soon >:D<
    *Storms off to write an “I’m leaving” blog*

  3. Wait a minute…I’ve gotta finish up my spasmatic (hahah..is that a word?) Happy happy joy joy song that Fuzzy is back!!

    I’m glad to hear (ermm…read) that everything went well. No icky things inside ya! Your descriptions were cracking me up though. maggots?? Gross :p

    Use Vitamin E cream on your incisions…it makes the scars disappear. I swear! It works. My three oh-so-ugly scars are virtually non-existent… I thank my awesome surgeon AND Vitamin E cream!

    Percoset is your friend!!!! Yes!!!! Hahah…Now, we all realllllly wanted a blog with you all doped up. You could have blogged about cannibalism or something. Hahah..oh, yeah…you alread did that.

    Well, my friend….continue healing and taking care of yourself. Are you allowed to lift more than a jug of milk yet?? I took total advantage of that rule..hahaha. Actually, I was quite stubborn…I went four days before calling my mom and saying “pleaseeeee come into town”. Haha.

    Hurry back…we want snarky Fuzzy!! Okay…and sweet, funny, lovable Fuzzy too!

    ((((hugs)))))

  4. .. well I can read it now, so you must have it sorted. Thanks for the update (I’m quite a new friend, so havent really caught up on your life).. hope you had a comfy pair of slippers in the hospital. Pleased to hear that the tumour was a ‘nice one’ (is there such a thing). Like your surgery tips… I once spent 6 weeks in hospital (back ops).. sadly no rum and raison ice cream.. but the water vs loo thing.. so true…. and making sure you let people know you love them… Take care, rest up.. and dont run before you can walk (even if it is in slippers)

  5. I just realized that I haven’t had surgery in my whole life, but I’ll keeep on mind those tips, BTW, the last one about telling people that you love them is an awesome good idea. Thanks for sharing this dear friend, I hope you get completelly well real soon!

  6. Whew! Glad to hear your innards are okay and you’re on the mend. You are SO right about the magicness of those patient-driven pain medicine dispensing machines. Ahhhh…. Anyway, wishing you a speedy recovery!

  7. Glad that all went well – good that you’re back. I have no first hand experience of surgery(and after reading your review – no great desire to change that) – but all my friends who have been reassembled tell me that the key is patience – we never heal as quickly as we might like – and overdoing it just makes the process longer.

    So – maybe you can blog lying down with the laptop in the air over you? (teasing of course – just take it easy and rest up).

  8. Yay!! You are back, it’s been too long!
    I am so glad that you are feeling up to blogging again, and you know that I am so thankful that you are well!
    You are one of the few people I know that can make describing something so serious, so funny! (and kinda gross too…LOL)
    Thank God for Percocet! They are one one the best pharmaceutical inventions!
    Big Hugs for a speedy recovery! Welcome back 🙂

  9. Gosh, I had no idea….being a new friend, I just thought you took a vacation….. (: So sorry to hear of your troubles but soooo glad eveything turned out well. Hospitals can be scary places, the fear of the unknown gets you every time. So, take it easy….rest up and we look foward to future snarky blogs. Hugs from Maine….

  10. *hugs, hugs, and more hugs* i’m so glad you’re ok. miss you lots and can’t wait for you to be back for good.

  11. Yay, Fuzz, so glad you are doing better. Take your time,take it real easy – we’ll always be here for you. But you know that.
    Shame about the sadistic she-surgeon…but can’t reverse what happened.
    Lots and lots of warm hugs!

  12. I have to admit my ignorance, as well, regarding your situation. Fuzz, I’m so close, you have my number, if you need anything, please will you call??? And whenst you recover, I believe plenty of actual rum (instead of rum/raisin ice cream) wilst kill any creeping crawling beasties — as well as caust a percocet-like euphoria!

  13. I didnt know you were having an op fuzzy, im sorry. Just glad the results were positive for you and you are on the road to recovery. There was me thinking that you were probably lying on a beach somewhere sunning yourself. Good to have you back and blogging, if only in moderation for a while…take it easy and get well soon, love and hugs xx

  14. Okay…so I guess the ANGELS going on a mission thing is OUT!
    I should REALLY read the blogs before I post a comment..I am trying to do this more..but as usual RUSH RUSH RUSH…..(note to self—-stop rushing!) (another note—tell ANG the mission is off)

    Glad you are okay to blog, and take it easy….lots of PURE VIT.E oil is good for scars….like she said…lots of tender loving care from whoever will throw it at you…we all are in our thoughts….

    xoxooxo Kate…
    PS–this candy background is to DIE for!!!

  15. Hey Fuzz, its really great to have you back again and I am relieved that you are looking after yourself and eating ice cream. Its all good for you no matter what the flavour. Welcome back to blog land you have been really missed by everyone I am sure including myself. Put your feet up now and see you for a new blog in a couple of days time.

    Ohh and as for telling people you love them. I love you and think you are great ok jus so you know, if I get hit by a bus tomorrow. Take good care. Loads of hugs and love from me and Marm of course. x

  16. Welcome back Fuzzy. I had no idea you were going to have an operation, but I am glad you are back and on the road to recovery. Take it easy and I look forward to seeing your blog postings and comments slowly reappearing in the blogosphere.

  17. I had no idea you were having surgery! I’m glad to hear you are recovering. I had my appendix out and know exactly what you mean about the stomach muscles thing.

  18. woot! i am DELIGHTED that everything is fine and dandy and in smooth running order!! you have been given a clean bill of health woman! the anticipation is the killer aint it…

    i must say, i LOVEd this blog. your sarcasm so cracks me up, mixed in with a hilarious twist on a very serious and painful situation. I love this aboutyou… hehe

    i will be thinking about you. .. if i had ya addy, i’d send ya something, but since i dont .. i’ll send you hugs and kisses.. xoxoxoxox mwah! get well soon!

  19. Yay! Thanks, Tally, and you’re just the best. Much love to you, too, of course. lol @ storming off. No worries, I’ll just beg and beg you until you come back, then I’ll toss rose petals in your path for your trouble. Yes, much rest, etc., no worries there. Hugggs
    Oh, and thanks for helping me clear up my blogging problem. We’ll see if that happens again . . . hope not. Sigh.
    Oh, and Sam and Dean have been kept very busy catering to my many needs, wants, and desires. Okay, mostly desires. Dreamy sigh (and big thanks!).

    lol @ your comments, Ang . . .you are too funny. Trouble is that all the trying not to laugh laugh made my tummy hurt, you evil demon woman. Teehee. No, it’s truly good to have the funnies. AND the advice about vit E; I used Mederma on my last scars, and it seemed to work best on the forehead scar (so Harry Potter of me). I’ll def try the vit E on this horror (okay, okay, since you are beating it out of me, I almost ordered some magic infomercial stuff the other night. Sigh. I didn’t, but it was tempting). Know what you mean about needing help, too, my mom left last Wednesday (while I was still on my percocet cloud), so this has been an unfun week. I can’t even put my socks on or pick up cat vomit (okay, okay, I DID finally pick up the latter and finagle the former, but it took a few days. Sigh.). {{{{ hugs }}}}

    Hey there, Treesparrow! Your little notes in my comments section have made me smile each time I log on to lurk/check email, so no worries there. 😀 Six weeks? omg, and here I am whining! Gaaahhh!! Hope you’re super good now.

    {{{ Tito }}} Thanks, dear friend, I’m sure that I shall. 😀

    OG, don’t you think those machines should just come on home with us? So lovely. Pause for dreamy daydream. Thanks for the well wishes. 😀

    Thanks, Em. 😀

    Hey Maggie May (bet you hate that, huh? Indulge me, I’m all invalidy). Yes, it was a pretty scary month leading up to the surgery, but no point in dwelling on that now that it’s all moot (thank GOD. And Merry Christmas!!) Guess humor’s the best medicine (and some other platitude); thanks for being amused, that makes me happy. For real. 😀 Huggs

    Hey there, Rivergirl, I enjoyed seeing your notes and all, cheered me up! 😀 Thanks for the well wishes, and yes, hospitals suck; so glad they keep you doped up the whole time you’re there. Hehe Huggs from Mass

    Yay, Kerry! Thanks. And *hugs* I’ll be by to catch up on the Smiley 360 campaign; I’ve noticed a few avatars, etc. (all different?), so I’ll try to get around there tomorrow. 😀

    Thanks, Fanta. You rock. Huggs.

    Hey JustMe, you know I almost called you once because I needed a ride to the doc’s for some sort of procedure that I had to take atavan for, but then I thought that would be a hell of an imposition. Thanks for the offer, though. 😀 So good of you. Truly. And yeppers! Sign me up for the rum-fest . . . 😀 Huggs.

    Aw, you are too sweet, Shell, truly. Thank you so much. Huggs.

    Yo, Kate Angel, I was all ready to go on the assignment, though you guys would so have to cover my back as I hobbled along wincing and whining. lolol I loved that comment, so no apologies. 😀 Okay, that seals it, vit E it is. Thanks and huggs to you!!

    Awww, Snuggles, well, I love you, too, so I hope you read this before you go out playing in traffic (um, don’t do that! Avoid all buses, please. Unless you need to take one, that is, but then, don’t get run over by it.). Loads of huggs and love from me and my clan to you and Marm, too. xx

    Thanks so much, Fabi.

    Yeah, I thought about calling you, Max, but there wasn’t anything you could do (except listen to me freak out, and what’s the good in that?). Yeah, that’s one of my other fun time scars, those appendix ops are good times, huh? 😉 Thanks for logging in to yahoo (and I mean that).

  20. Aw, thanks so much Blackie!! That’s a smile making comment (also makes me puffed up and quite pleased with myself. Nice sensation.). Just thinking of sending me a pressie makes me happy, thanks for that, too. And I do think you are a better sarcastic Betty than I am; love your funny blogs, too! 😀 Huggs.

  21. HEY YOU @@@@… Welcome back home…
    For the record, percs aren’t my friend… In fact percs don’t like me at all {you don’t want to know} but morphine does… No one likes being gutted like a fish, or a shark as the case may be, but I’m glad the word/condition ‘malignant’ wasn’t part of this deal. Be careful if you have to cough.

    Lovin’ you lots, with hugs, carefully though … @@@@@@ G. xo xo

  22. Hey Fuzzy and I thought you were sitting on the beach again, living it up. I am happy to hear that your procedure went well! Percocet is great for pain, I’m going to go against the grain here and recommend Neosporin to minimize any scaring and to accelerate the healing time of your incision! It will keep it moist and help the itching that comes along as you heal! Be sure that your incision get’s plenty of air! Other than that eat lot’s of your favorite ice cream and fine a good movie to throw into your DVD player! As unpleasant as surgery can be, keep up the positive attitude and enjoy the rest. Before you know it you will be back in the rat race of life, so be good to yourself….Michael

  23. Hey fuzz, sorry i beeen AFK for a long while, but was catching up with people and read this and thought, shit I’m a selfish arse for going away with problems half as bad as this. Forgive me?

    As for the flowers, probably best to make sure you have no allergies, cos when I had my back op i was bought flowers, sneezed and blew myself open again, but hey contrary to Richard Ashcroft and the Verve, the drugs DO work and I am with Depeche Mode when they say “I just can’t get enough”!!

    Will speak soon hun,

    Monty

  24. Glad you are doing well and that you did not have the dreaded BIG C! Shudder that is a scary thing I think. But wooo hooo you are back on track. How’s the disertation…I know I did not spell that right teacher..lol. Hope the recovery is continuing.

  25. Welcome back, Fuzz. Great to see your comments appearing again on my blog and fabulous to see they weren’t all cutesy. Maybe you were on something when you made the nice comment? Hey, I didn’t know you were in hospital either, otherwise I wouldn’t have made so much fuss about you going away and I would have e-mailed flowers instead or perfume. need you back on your feet now; never mind the cat vomit, need you to put up your dooks (is that how you spell it?). Let me know when your fit enough for hugs and all that soppy 360 stuff and then let’s get on with it. You don’t fool me with all that stoic stuff. XX

  26. Oh Fuzzie I have been away and did not know about your surgery. 😦
    Sending you a belated get-well box of chocolates.**Huggs**
    Glad to hear you are feeling better.

  27. Glad to see you back and, of course, I am really happy to hear that you are cancer free. I have never tried percocet. I guess I have really never needed pain meds. I am one of those rare oddballs who tolerates pain well and doesn’t like to take anything more than an aspirin (although the rum raisin ice cream sounds good).
    Take care & I sincerely hope you heal really quickly.
    Oh & by the way, some of my best blogs (especially the snarky ones) stay in my head!! :0)

  28. Hey GG!! Thanks for the hugs and great support; yes, morphine is a fine friend indeed. Sigh. Dreamy remembrance. xx

    Thanks, Michael, good advice there! My doc said to keep it clean and covered with gauze stuff (square shaped), but I’m seeing her on Monday and can ask about the Neosporin and air thing (which makes sense to me!). 😀

    No worries, Monty my friend!! We all need time away from blogland now and then, and for no reason at all other than we just need to get out and breathe the air. Totally understandable. Huggs and smiles. P.S. sneezing is THE worst, and I don’t have those polite little girl sniffle sneezes, either, mine are bigger than life (and almost burst me open, too, it felt like–so nice to commisserate!).

    Thank you so much, Mercy! 😀

    Aw, thanks so much, Mavis, actually haven’t been working on that (as you can imagine), but I’ll get back to it now that I know I have a longer life expectancy than a fruit fly. 😀

    Hey, Neil, what’s wrong with cutesy? I like cutesy. 😛 And thanks for the rest of your comments, too, very cheering actually (and glad at least you weren’t fooled by my stoicism :)). Huggs and kisses and aloha and how about some cartoon bluebirds flying around as a cartoon deer comes up for a bit of grass and a cuddle (cutesy enough? Or do we need a Disney soundtrack, too? hehe).

    Thanks, Azad.

    Mmmmm, these are some good chocolates, Rainy! Thanks 😀 And I appreciate the warm wishes and hugs, too. Of course. 😀 Take care that you don’t work yourself too hard, life’s short you know!! (no, I’m not going to be one of THOSE, lolol) Huggs

    Thanks to you, too, Nancy for the well wishes and support; you are so lucky to be able to tolerate pain well. I don’t. Not at all. Kind of a big cry baby wimp, actually. Pathetic, really. Oh, well, not much I can do about that. As to the other thing (snarky blogs in head vs. in post), I DID think about whether or not to post that, but I honestly didn’t think that anyone who fit that description was still reading my page. Just goes to show, you never know who your fans (or stalkers) are. Over all, though, that’s good advice, and I’ll have to remember it next time. Probably won’t, but then you can tell me you told me so. It’ll be like our newest inside joke now that TGILD won’t happen for too many more months. lol. Huggs to you, my friend. xx

  29. I am happy to hear you are doing well. SOrry you had to got through surgery. But happy it turned out ok. Hope you get lots of rest and take care of yourself.

  30. Just get well, dear, I know it’s a hard time, but u r strong enough to get over it and we both know the better times r waiting in the nearest future and about to know at yr door. so I’m sending u the warmest hugs and tons of love, with the wishes of a soon recovery, God bless u, Fuzzy!

  31. It wonderful to hear you are mending up. Almost like ah-mending. I see no need to send you get well candy as it appears you have enough weight generating supply on your blog to last you a long while. If you eat it all you’ll have to get cut again to get a tummy tuck. But it does look really good and since it is virtual I’d like a bite or two. I mean candy. Recover at your own speed and the 360 will slow down long enough to get you on board when you are ready. Miss you. 🙂

  32. Thank you so much, Bert 😀

    Aw, you are too sweet, Jenia, thanks for being you!! Huggs to you 😀

    lol, Heyman, thanks. Yes, I’ll be back to the blog marathons in no time, I’m sure. Now I’m doing okay in fits and starts. Take care and missed you, too!! 😀

  33. Hey Fuzzy, many apologies for being late for your return. It’s so good to see you blogging again. I, too, am just recovering. From a nasty bout of “foot-in-mouthitis”. It’s a nasty affliction that makes you say stupid things like “hope you’re having fun” to someone who has just undergone painful surgery.
    You may not be up to fully ‘snarky’ (I love that term) yet, but you have retained the ability to describe in graphic detail. I was thankful not to be eating while reading this!! LOL.
    Anywhoo, welcome back. Hope the rest of your recovery is speedy and pain-free.
    BTW……what’s that buzzing I keep hearing??

  34. no worries, Mitch, it’s always good to see you here! 😀 And lol, yes, glad you weren’t eating, too; I forget that others are far more capable than I at multi-tasking. And yikes!! No buzzing. Please, no buzzing. hehe Huggs to you xx

  35. Sorry to hear about this, now we know why you were absent. Hope you recover well soon, find out what caused the problem. Hopefully the lines will go away with time, don’t worry about that, that doesn’t alter your persona, be the same fuzzy we know. Get well soon Doc. Cheers.

  36. Thank you so much, Chris! I’m getting better and more comfortable each day, and I’m working on getting caught up out here in blogland, too. It’s slow going, but I’m getting there. 😀 You’re just so sweet to me! 😀

  37. oh my god fuzzy, i cant beleive i missed this blog!
    Have been a little blonde recently and was a away for the last week or so..but anyway, hope you’re feeling better!!!!!!
    lots of hugs..and few more thrown in as a treat!
    R x

  38. Aw, thanks, Rash, yes, I’m feeling better now and getting better with each day! Thanks for the extra hugs, though, I needed those. 😀

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