Let’s Do It for . . . the People, er, God, erm, Teddy, uhhh, the Deficit

I feel like a virgin at prom.  How many more “reasons” do we need to hear BO trot out before he realizes that the only way we’re going to do it is if we have some protection (and abstinence really is the best protection, right?).  We didn’t fall off the turnip truck yesterday and we’re not starry-eyed teenage girls (well, I suppose that is a good description of BO’s more ardent supporters), so why doesn’t he come up with something that actually makes sense?  Let’s see, what possible reason could there be for doing it?  The only person who will be satisfied is BO, and that’s a little one-sided for me.

First, it was supposed to be pushed through before anyone (including members of Congress) knew what was in it (that was the “ruffee approach,” get us while we’re still dazed and bemused by the enormous bailouts, government takeover of the banks and GM, Cash for Clunkers, and the “stimulus package”–how apt).  We were supposed to wake up the next day and wonder what had happened . . . before the panic set in.

Then there really wasn’t a reason.  There was erm, ugh, d’oh economy, eh erm 45 million, uhhhh.  That’s the stuttering, stammering, shuffling your feet and staring at the ground approach that doesn’t work on teenagers, even.

So let’s do it for God–He’d want you to.  Uh-huh.  How does that work again?  Should we drink some poison koolaid and hole up in a commune in Texas, too?  Is that what God told you?  Or do you think that we’ll find a moral imperative in handing over 1/6 of our economy and our entire healthcare system and its myriad related privacies and freedoms to the government?  Do it for God?  But don’t you deny God?  Or were you hoping that I’d be so busy clinging to my guns and religion that I wouldn’t notice the disingenuousness of you (of all people) calling out the God squad?  I know that’s not a bible in your pocket.  Pfft!

That doesn’t work, so he tries peer pressure.  Trouble is, it’s his peer (though honestly Teddy Kennedy stood head and shoulders above BO in every sense of the phrase).  Look, Teddy did it, you should, too. All the cool kids are doing it.

And now it’s let’s do it for the extra 2 trillion deficit that I’m creating (in addition to the fabulous earlier projection of 7 trillion, that is.).  It’ll feel good.  Really.

Next, it’ll be let’s do it for the Statue of Liberty, the Grand Canyon, or . . . or . . . Disneyland!

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