Fuzzy’s Faux News: RAAAACISM Revealed in Popular Farm Game

January 2, 2011

An earth-shattering, taxpayer-funded study recently released by the University of California, Murkley reveals how deep-rooted and unapologetic racism in America has become.  Studying the segregation of farm animals in the popular online game, Farms R Us, universally-respected scholars have concluded that racism is not only alive and well but thriving in cyberspace, particularly on the farms of the astroturfed “Tea Party” movement, thus providing more evidence of their divisiveness.

The researchers’ hope in releasing the following images (content warning) is to reinforce the need for the government to clamp down on the internet, to ensure that no Tea Party person have access to the internet,  and to protect the civil rights of such animals as cybersheep and cybercows.

The following images reveal just how prevalent racism is in America:

As you can see from this small sampling of literally thousands of such images, the so-called “black sheep” and the so-called “black pig” are clearly segregated from their white brethren.  These farms, however, don’t reveal the even worse state of race relations flagrantly displayed in the following series of images from totally different, not at all similar, and widely-divergent farms (content warning):

These sheep and pigs are clearly not only segregated but are also, and it hurts me to write this, placed in the back (of the bus?).  This sort of hate crime is being taken up by the FCC, the NAACP, and by PETA.  Lawsuits and internet shut-downs of the offending racist “farmers” are pending.

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[Editor’s note: We are getting a lot of mail suggesting that these frightening and alarming images are all of the same farm.  This is not the case.  We have done our own independent research that reveals the same thing on several hundred thousand different farms:

As you can clearly see, these are all very different farms with very different animals, fences, and decorations, but all with the same worrying racist overtones.  We at Fuzzy’s Faux News personally vouch for the credibility and integrity of our investigative journalists.]

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11 thoughts on “Fuzzy’s Faux News: RAAAACISM Revealed in Popular Farm Game

  1. Dear Fuzzy,

    How can people be soooo insensitive to the poor(I'm sure they don't get the same food alotment or pay scale) Black sheep and the Black pig! There must be something we can do to punish the white sheep and dare I say pink pigs. I shutter at the thought of what must clearly be happening to the gay donkey that has been forced to live all by himself!

    Oh the inhumanity of it all!

    This is clearly why the government must find a way to regulate the internet… God save us all!

    Lock & Load!!!
    Sons & Daughters of Liberty Unite!!!

  2. Fuzzy, now let me get this straight. Not only is the government calling me a racist, but now I have to pay for it? If you keep the black sheep separate, won't you get more from their wool at market?

  3. Heh, thanks, guys 🙂 You make me happy.

    @Toaster, always splendid to see you here. And it's funny, actually, this was prompted by some discussions I had with some of my conservative classmates in grad school (we didn't broadcast we were conservatives, of course). We would sit around moaning and grousing about the insipid crap we had to write about all the various “isms” and how awful the big bad white man was to women, to blacks, to Asians, to . . . well, you name anyone not a white western male and there was an ism in academia for it. So we all joked about inventing a new theory and thereby making our name for all time in the liberal annals of literary criticism. One of them, and I'm not kidding, was something like infantism (oooh, just look at horribly babies are treated in literature! That one has a dirty diaper . . . that can only indicate abuse and can't possibly be a metaphor or anything else, of course). Years later, one of them sent me an article, and I kid you not, it was all about that unexplored avenue of “thought”(forget what the term was now and don't care enough to look it up). I would not be in the least surprised if there aren't some “scholars” swooping around farms on FarmVille and counting up the black and white sheep, pigs, goats, whatever. Really, I wouldn't.

  4. Woodsterman (Odie) said…
    “Fuzzy, now let me get this straight. Not only is the government calling me a racist, but now I have to pay for it? If you keep the black sheep separate, won't you get more from their wool at market?”

    Well Yeah!

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