My Heart Hasn’t Been In It

Thanks for the notes and comments about my absence.  I’ve just not had the heart of late to post anything, and I wanted to let you know that I’m okay.  Just sad.

I’ve lost all three of my cats (yes, I know, it sounds a silly reason to be in a funk–“just” cats).

Back in 2008, I lost my “good girl”:

Then the week before Christmas (12/18/10), my “baby girl” died:

And then, what seemed such a short few weeks later, on February 8th, 2011, my “best boy” died:

They were, respectively, 18, 16, and 20, so I’d lived with and loved them for my entire adult life and am thankful for that.  But I miss them terribly. 

I’ll be back soon. 

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35 thoughts on “My Heart Hasn’t Been In It

  1. Oh, so sorry on the loss of your beautiful sweeties. Do you think best boy died of a sad heart because of baby girl?

    My goodness you should be proud of yourself for being an excellent cat owner. Most people's animals don't live nearly that long. If you don't mind me saying so:

    WELL DONE!

  2. Aw, thanks so much, Opus. 😀 After Ches (my good girl), Cali (my baby girl) would occasionally walk around crying plaintively. It would break my heart, she sounded so sad and seemed to be looking for Ches, so I wouldn't be surprised if my best boy (as he was the only boy, I could call him that) was pining, too. He was definitely sad after she died and wouldn't eat for a couple days. The vet said she'd seen that before in grieving pets, but I was still concerned because his weight was becoming an issue as he aged and his thyroid meds didn't seem to be helping as they once had. It's just so weird to not have even one of them, but I'm healing (and at least I'm not looking for them in the mornings anymore when I shuffle in to make coffee and would normally feed them).

  3. The loss of pets is terrible, I told my wife after the last one died(they get old)no more, and of course we have a new one again to love. I do miss reading your stuff, so write when you feel like it! And those kittys lived a good long life.

  4. I am so sorry Fuzzy. Pets are family. They're a part of who we are. We have a dog now but I come from a long line of cat lovers and always had a cat growing up. I get it.

    Hang in there. We will be here when you are.

  5. I have lost many, many cats, and every one of them took a small piece of my heart when he or she passed on. I know just what you're going through, and I'm very sorry for your loss. We'll be fine until you get back.

  6. Dear Fuzzy,

    I can relate so well. The image I use for my posting is a picture of Seth. (TL) and I lost Seth a year ago just before Christmas at the age of 13.

    I lost my best two legged friend on the 14th and my best four legged friend on the 21st.

    Having been married to “Earth Mother” for 39 years, we have had literally hundreds of animals come and go through the years. (TL) worked for vets for most of her working days and everyone knew her to be a real sucker when it came to animals. She even fostered a Bengal tiger cub briefly until the State Wildlife officers could find a place for him.

    We still have 3 dogs, 2 cats, a parrot, and a fish. I couldn't imagine life without some sort of critter greeting me at the door when I come home.

    I will have another Border Collie some day, but it will probably be after we move to Tennessee.

    We have missed you and will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

    I will forgo my usual ending for now.

  7. I'm sorry about you losing your pets. My oldest cat (17 years) died of kidney disease about a year ago and I still struggle with it. I know some might think that's silly, but they really become a part of the family.

  8. So sorry Fuzzy. I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet. I dread the day I have to lose my “baby”.

    And that blog funk is going around. Sign of the times?

  9. My whole life I was a dog man. We lost our last dog 20 years ago. My wife decided it was time to get a cat. She came from a family that always had cats. She and our son picked one out. I thought I could put up with him. That animal adopted me right away. For 17 years that cat, Milo, would not leave my side. He would even camp out in my noisy shop to keep me company. We lost him about two years ago, and it was like losing a best friend.

  10. Awww I am so sorry to hear of your “babies” passing. Losing a pet and especially 3 pets so close together must be so hard. Hope you cheer up soon 🙂

  11. Fuzzy, we have loved and lost also.

    We consider our cats and dogs to be just like children. It's so hard when they pass.

    You know the best thing for you would be to go and get 2 or 3 more. There is nothing like having litter-mates-brother-sister combinations. They will always play and never get into interloper wars. Springtime is coming and there will be many of them up for adoption at the shelters and elsewhere that come out of the wild.

    I've lost some that I'll never forget. One in particular – Monique – accident prone, and one day stuck her paw and then her face under the tire of my wife's car as it was rolling away from the curb. She was probably reaching for a bug, got her paw caught then bit the tire and her jaw went under.
    4 grand at the emergency center, came out with a feeding tube. I nursed her for a couple months injecting food through the tube until one day we woke up and she had pulled the tube out herself and ate on her own from that day forward.
    One day I was out of town and she got out in single digit temps without anyone realizing. I'm sure she froze. She was only 4. I'll never forget her. That was 4 years ago now.

    We have 5 cats and a beagle in a wheelchair.
    I love them all. I wonder where they'd be if not here.

  12. PS – fwiw, the grey tigers like yours have great personalities. I found through us fostering orphan kittens, that the all blacks and black and whites often have incredible playful personalities. Those were always a blast, and out of the 5 now, the all black one is a riot. Very intelligent, playful and loving.

    Just keep the blacks in the house around Halloween.

  13. Oh, and Kid, yes, my three were a “family.” I got Ches first, then adopted my boy because someone had moved away and he didn't have a home, and then he got Ches preggers, and next thing you know I had three! It was a blessing, and yes, they lived well together (for the most part, “play time” would get rough when they were all younger. *grins* at the memories). Cal looked black, but she was really black and white, a tabby but you had to muss her fur or look at her tummy for the white bits.

  14. They certainly aren't “just cats” and the pictures show that they were beautiful friends. That's a lot of losses to shoulder in a short space of time, and each is devastating in their own right. I am so sorry for your losses, you are in my thoughts and prayers. May you find comfort and healing.

  15. @Fuzz,

    I'm late in learning of your loss. As a pet lover myself, I truly believe until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.

    Take care of yourself, we love you and await your next post.

  16. oh, Fuzi. I'm so sorry. They weren't “just” cats. They were family. And still are a part of who you are.

    I still mourn the loss of my childhood lab who died a decade ago.

    And of my cat, who became my dad's cat when I married someone with crazy pet allergies… she was a spunky thing who changed my perception of kitties forever.

    Hugs to you.

  17. Oh Fuzzy, am so sorry. We lost our 18 year old part Siamese cat just last week, so I DO know how you feel…I've been quite savage and uninspired ever since, myself.

  18. I've got two older girl kitties, and I just married into a family of three boy kitties, one of whom is ancient for a cat, and doing poorly with arthritis. We're expecting at least one of the cats to pass in the next few months, and are surprised another hasn't already over the last year. In the meantime, one of the three boy kitties showed up about 8 months ago and simply never left. Cats come and cats go, and while they're here, they're family.

  19. I used to hate cats. Two years ago my wife said the only thing she wanted for her birthday was a cat. I gave in and had our neighbor, who rescued a couple cats, rescue a cat for us.

    Now that cat, my little MoMo, has gone from being an abused kitty about to be put to sleep, to being the little sweetheart who runs down the stairs to greet me when I get home. And every morning I find a half-dozen or so socks she's deposited by my bedside as gifts to me. My wife is a little jealous because she was always the cat lover, but MoMo follows me around everywhere.

    I was wrong about cats. I feel your pain because it will be a sad day when she leaves us.

    Take care.

  20. Fuzzy, I am just hearing your heartbreaking news. No, they are not *just* cats. Pets are our loved ones. Take a much deserved rest, but, glad to see you pop in at LI from time to time.

  21. So sorry about your beloved babies,I know the pain all too well and it never gets easier but our pets are our legacy.It's so hard to lose a pet. I love kitties, but hubbby is allergic. I am thinking of trading him in for a few cats. We always have a dog though who is my joy, but I don't have to go far to see the kitties I rescued and dumped on my mom who lives right downstairs so it's all good.One in particular Misty or as we call her Miss Misty. She is what we call a wearable kittie. She fits on any part of the body,the shoulder,the back,the lap,around the neck,on the head.
    We had a cat growing up until 23 years old and my mom had another for 23 years until 2009. And we cried like babies each time.
    My mom's friend's friend just lost a cat,it was 25.

  22. Oh, I am so sorry. I have raised four generations of cats from the same old mother–and ancestry. Your stripers look identical to mine. When I lost the father–Duncan Jr. to the boy I have now–Thunder Cat–I was devastated. My cats are trained / they talk–in their way–say OUT–UH OH–and knock at the door and window with a rythm. Since I lost my wife three years ago they seem to be all I have left of “Home” if you know what I mean. I am posting a funny piece soon on your behalf–Feel better soon!

  23. @Lisa, it's heart-breaking, like I've lost a part of myself. I can't even describe it, really, they were just such a huge part of my life for so long, and when I lost the last one, it was like losing them all all over again. I'm so sorry for your mom's friend's friend. She (or he maybe) must be devastated.

    @Scott, you so get it. They were “home” to me in so many ways. I'm so sorry about your wife, as well. Big patriot hugs to you. And heh, a funny piece is just what I need. You rock!

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