BO’s Speech

Dear America,

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but I want you to believe that I “get” America.  So I’m here to announce that I “get” America.  See?  I “get” it.  I said it.  I’ll even say, “one nation, under God” or something, I think it’s from some Founders’ document from 20 centuries ago.  Or something.  And remember how Lincoln founded the Republican Party?  Or something.  Not too sure about that, to be honest.  But erm, ugh, I “get” America.  Did I mention that already?  I do.  I really really do.  Listen:  I “get” America.  See?  There, I said it.

So here’s my plan.  I’m going to . . . um, erm do stuff.  Stuff I already said I’d do.  Some stuff I said I’d not do.  You’ll notice I’m not calling it the same thing, see?  That’s the difference.  See how I’ve grown and can adapt?  See how I’m not entrenched in proven failed policies?  It’s all about what you call it.  I get that.  Um, just like I “get” America.  Remember me saying that?  It’s true.  I “get” America.  So anyway, back to my fabulous “save America” (which I “get,” btw): it’s all stuff that um, some Republicans and some Democrats have supported.  You know, in the past.  Sure, things were different then.  The American economy was better, unemployment numbers were lower, and well, sure, the deficit wasn’t crippling then, the debt not insane.  Okay, sure, people weren’t paying attention then.  But you know what?  None of that matters because, um, Republicans once agreed to it, sure, under different circumstances, with different voter feedback, but um, well, it’s still binding.  You know.  Somehow.  Because.  Um, it is.  You know, binding.  Pass it now.  Don’t bother reading it.  There’s no time.  It’s urgent.  It must be done now.

Um, I’ll tell you how I’m paying for it later.  You know how I postponed this speech on jobs, my fifth “pivot” to jobs in 2.5 years, until after my vacay?  Well, same thing, it’s truly urgent, it matters now.  Pass it now.  Pass it yesterday.

I’ll tell you in ten or so days how I’ll pay for it (mostly with gimmicks, but that doesn’t matter.  What matters is that I “get” America.).

And it IS paid for.  Just like ObamaCare would never add a single dime to the deficit and you’d get to keep your own insurance and illegal immigrants / abortion wouldn’t be covered.  It’s just like that.

So, um, American people–I “get” you, I really really do, I’ve said it like three times now–um, tell your Congressmen and women to stop obstructing my same, tired, failed plan for fundamental transformation.  I’m going to go on the road with this act, to all 57 or 58 states, whatever.  And I need you to, um, be, you know, fired up.  Really.  It’s about me, um, you, the people of America.  And I so “get” America.  Really.  I do. 

God bless me.  Um, America.  Which I “get.”  I do.  Reaaaaally, I doooooo.


10 thoughts on “BO’s Speech

  1. Nice to see you back !

    I didn't watch but I'm sure you got it perfectly.

    I did a 'news' scan of about 20 seconds or so the day after and saw that oblabbers plan was both pathetic and simply meant to shovel another 450 Billion to union thugs with no payback real or imagined.

    The lying is so transparent, he's like that John Lovitt guy from SNL when SNL was at least still mildly amusing and original. 100% serious. Yea, that's the ticket.

    Honestly, it is Stunning anyone admits to supporting this imbecile.

  2. Thanks, all. He is bending over backwards to talk a talk he doesn't actually understand. He practically sneered when he talked about American individualism, he could barely get the words out. He doesn't believe in what we do. He doesn't get it. He never will.

  3. What comes through now in any Obama speech is his lack of sincerity. This wasn't a speech about creating jobs, it was a speech about him saving his. Most of the people seem to have caught on to this and have just tuned him out. I don't think even the media will be able to cover for him anymore.

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