The ObamaCare Restaurant Model

I keep reading in comments from leftists on various sites the same refrain:  “well, OF COURSE you’re paying more, you’re getting better coverage than you had before!  Duh!”  “Better” according to whom?  My elderly (she hates that word!) mother doesn’t need prenatal care coverage, she doesn’t need contraception coverage, she doesn’t need coverage for depression or gender identity issues, and she certainly doesn’t need prostate exam coverage.  Luckily, she’s covered by Medicare and Tricare (for now), but what about everyone else?  What is “better” about being forced to buy something you don’t want, don’t need, can’t afford, and will never use?

Imagine if restaurants functioned on this same premise . . .

You have to make your dinner reservations for the year online (let’s pretend that you can actually do this in a reasonable amount of time, get the actual cost quoted to you, and get your reservations locked in), and you must buy one of the listed meal plans.  The minimum requirements for the meals, the “bronze plan,” is the seven-course “dine around the world plan.”  In this basic meal, you purchase seven courses from all over the globe; it includes not only some yummy things like salads, chicken cooked your favorite way, and some lovely stews and soups, but also fried insects, monkey brains, lamb eyeballs, and camel hump water.  All of the meal plans require that you purchase these “delicacies,” and if you don’t like it, you’re clearly an uneducated rube hater xenophobe.

You will pay a monthly fee for whichever plan you sign up whether you eat at that restaurant or not, whether you order all the “delicacies” or not, and whether you like it or not (though this is a restaurant, not the government, so they can’t take your home, throw you in jail, or seize your assets, so . . . yay!?).

You get to the restaurant, and they hand you a bill for the cost of the meal when you walk in the door.  “What’s this?”, you ask.  “Why, it’s your ‘delectable deductible,’ and you must pay this for all of your meals for the first ten months of the year.  Isn’t that wonderful?”  You ask why you have to pay this extremely high “delectable deductible” when you’ve been making extremely high monthly payments, and the maitre d’ mumbles something unintelligible that boils down to “that’s just the way it is; if you don’t like it, don’t eat.”

I guess to make this more like ObamaCare, we’ll have to say for this discussion that every restaurant offers the same plans, service, etc., and that you can’t get food even at a supermarket unless you’ve bought a meal plan that meets the minimum restaurant standards.  And can prove it.

Back at the restaurant:  you wait in line for hours though you can plainly see the restaurant is empty, there is one harried server who is spending most of his time uploading your license plate, credit card, and restaurant “papers” to various agencies and with other restaurants (can’t have you scamming to eat those yummy treats twice!) who all freely share that data with . . . well, whomever.

When you finally get seated (this was a lengthy process, involving three hostesses, two busboys, and, for some unknown reason, a SWAT team), you tell the server you just want to order a hamburger and fries, that your dining partner will have a salad.  The server rolls his eyes at you and laughs derisively.  “Oh, no,” he says, “you’re getting something much much better than that!  Corporate headquarters has determined that you will both have a much better dining experience and best meet your dietary needs by having this other, much better meal.  It will also make you a better person because you will become more worldly and sophisticated.  Further, you’re guaranteed a place in Heaven because you will be helping economically other countries that are counting on exporting their bugs, brains, and eyeballs.”  Out come seven courses, including your tall glass of refreshing camel hump water and those not-so-yummy lamb eyeballs (“such a delicacy!  You’re going to love them!,” your server assures you.).

You can’t eat all that, you don’t want it, you just want a freaking hamburger and fries.  The good news is that your dining partner gets her salad! It’s served somewhere in the middle of the meal, and it’s exactly what she wanted.  So what if you had to mortgage your home to get an annual meal plan that covers only two months of the year (if you eat there–or anywhere–every night for ten months, that is.  But after that, for two whole months, you eat “free”!!), a meal plan that you don’t want and can’t afford.  On the bright side though, it’s so much better than what you would have bought for yourself.

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20 thoughts on “The ObamaCare Restaurant Model

  1. I was reading a blog lastweek about the obamacare nightmare and some dumbass commented that Americans complaining about obamacare “just don’t know what’s in your own best interest.”I swear I’m going to punch someone if I hear that one more time. I know what is in my best interest and it sure as hell isn’t making someone else feel better about being a leech on society.

    • That is particularly annoying to me, too, Kerry. And really it’s the root of the division between left and right: we believe that we know what is in our own best interest; they believe that someone else always knows what is best for others. Though, interestingly, they rarely think that same someone else knows what is best for THEM–that’s why communism and its totalitarian fellows always create separate “exempt” classes and separate rules and laws: one for the poor who need to be managed and told what is best for them, and one for the privileged who don’t have to follow those rules and laws that they dictate for everyone else.

    • Yeah. Gotta agree with you and Fuzzy on this. I am so sick of people telling me that I don’t know what’s best for me. We’re not pets.

      But now we’re supposed to let DC jerks determine what’s best for us? I mean they did do such a bang-up job of turning Detroit into the punchline of joke in about a decade.

      • Exactly, we’re not pets, but leftists think we are. I think the saddest thing about it (and them) is that they don’t realize that most of them are or will be “the poor” who are dictated to and not granted magical exemptions to the rules for the little people.

        ObamaCare, along with most of Obama’s domestic policies, is designed to, either intentionally or otherwise (I say intentionally), destroy the middle classes. That does not mean upward mobility, of course, it means that all these people who are championing these policies will end up in the new poverty class (one that is growing at an alarming speed under Obama, with poverty levels at near-record highs, more people on welfare, foodstamps, and soon, Medicaid than ever). All of these middle class Obots will soon find that they, too, are slipping by taxation, policies that destroy the work week (part-time nation), and regulations that destroy jobs and make everything cost more into poverty. They can’t seem to figure this out, though, so when they do, I fear that it will be too late.

  2. And if you don’t buy a meal plan, you’ll still have to “tip” the staff (as in pay the tax).. although your tip goes to management (DC bureaucrats) and they decide how to best spend it. Because the staff doesn’t really deserve your gratuity; in fact, if you speak to the staff they’re likely to get fired, as was proven this week by Hannity on his radio show.

    Hope you’re well..

  3. This law was always going to be a disaster. Whether by sheer incompetence or according to a plan (I think it’s by incompetence) the law was designed to fail. It was just a question of how bad it would be implemented and how soon it would fail. And the answers are worse than I thought, and probably real quick.

    But hey, you did we expect much better when we re-elected (sort of) a petty little community organizer who desperately wants to be an “elightened despot.”

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