Fussy here. I really wish that our guys at the FCC or the NSA could make it so’s I could have my own log in, but hey, I can use that Fuzzy person’s, so it doesn’t matter. Wanna know her password? I have it. Obviously. And so does everyone from the Cincinnati office of the IRS to the Muslim Outreach and Pep Talk Agency (formerly known as NASA). But anyways, since she’s not posting, I thought I’d offer my rebuttal to all you rightwing nutjobs on the events of the day.
About that Bundy ranch family of domestic terrorists. Duuuuude. Seriously? You go 20 years without paying your grazing fees and expect the federal government NOT to drone you into a dust puddle? Hmph! I have no patience with such idiocy. And that claim that BLM slaughtered that domestic terrorist’s cattle? It’s like John Milton wrote in Paradise Road, “show me the beef!” There are laws, LAWS I say, and failing to follow them-except in the case of gay marriage, illegal immigration, voter fraud, Democrats failing to pay taxes, and unconstitutional presidential overreach (and maybe others that I can’t think of right now because some laws are just so stupid that I ignore them)–carries the death-by-drone penalty. That’s how our democracy works. After all, if you have nothing to hide, have paid all your grazing fees and stuff, and support the glorious revolution for fundamental transformation, you don’t have to fear being droned.
About that whole Benghazi fake scandal drummed up by bored Koch brother minions. Where’s the proof that an American ambassador was raped, tortured, and killed? You can’t prove it, can you! See?!!!
Oh. You can? Well, so what?! Duuuuude, that was like two, maybe even three!, years ago. We in the progressive movement have a saying, “if we did it and it happened within the last two days, we’ll apologize without meaning it, but longer than that, we just ask ‘What difference, at this point, does it make?’.” This whole studying history thing and remembering what happened a year or two ago needs to be nipped in the bud.
Oh. And RAAACISTS!!!!
I like to throw that in every conversation for good measure. After all, who wore those pointy KKK hoods? Yep, good-for-nothing Republicans! As an aside, I have to admit that my hood, provided by the DNC, looks fantastic on me. It brings out the green in my eyes, especially when I stand extra close to a burning cross on some hateful RAAACIST’s front yard. I think that my using some left over vaginal glitter on my hood really added that extra ooomph!
I have, recently, been considering eye replacement surgery; I’m not sure this is available yet, but if it isn’t it should be because frankly, I am disturbed by my own attraction to my green eyes and think that, because I am really a black person inside, I should get a free race change operation. Not only would this alleviate my hatred of my attraction to my own green eyes, but it would be a recognition of my right to be what I truly am inside: an African American. Well, I might be Latina inside. Or maybe Native American. I have to think about which offers the best opportunities, but all of those people have brown eyes, probably, so I want to get started on my race reassignment surgery right away. ObamaCare probably covers it! After all, I have the basic human right to finally be truly and really authentic and authentically truly real.